Trust me, love, I am bloody thrilled that you are not like the other women I've dated.

We can sort out what to say and practise our dancing all in one go, if you like. Though I don't know that I can help you deal with the upper year girls. I've had a few of the boys come round asking me about how to avoid the clap (at least they haven't forgotten it went around last year), to which I cheerfully tell them to see Madam Pomfrey, "because there's nothing that gives her greater pleasure than helping a young lad avoid strange oozings from his knob."

Being a teacher is really more fun than it ought to be, on occasion.

And now that I've left you with THAT pleasant image, I suggest you concentrate on your projection for a while...