alt_sinistra | Order Only

I've just come back from the funerals for my brother and Andie.

We have a tradition, our family. Every year, someone - Mum, usually - makes a special mead. If there's deaths during the year, we share a bottle. Tell stories about them. Pour out what wasn't drunk in the new year, as a thank you we didn't need it.

~~And we did for Orion, and for Andie. And then Mum insisted we do it for Harry.~~

Someone writes down all the things people say. (A complete version, and a - well, people often say stupid things, and so there's a version with those taken out that's easier to reread later.) I have copies, if anyone wants to see what it's like. It's not supposed to be the big stories, the things everyone knows, but smaller things, the things that person just enjoyed a lot.

It doesn't help enough, but it's better than a lot of other things people do for funerals. And having a thing to read privately later, that helps some too.

It doesn't need to be a big thing, or everyone there. Just - I thought I'd pass it on, for anyone it might help.

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Diane was rather more horrible than Mum thought she might be, and she's always been good at finding the thing that hurts most when she's upset. ~~I didn't want you to see me handle it badly.~~

Two friends showed up to see me and I ended up going elsewhere for a bit after, so I wasn't on my own.

I need to write another note or two, but come up when you're ready, please. (I got handed butterbeer, if you want some of that, and about six kinds of tea and tisane.)

And then marzipan and stars and likely a little brandy.

None of this is urgent, but if I don't write it now, it'll fall out of my head with all the arithmancy piled on top tomorrow.

My oldest sister has always been a bellwether for a certain kind of public opinion. Right now, she's mad with grieving. Chiron's just - he's not saying much at all. Terrified to make the wrong choice, I think.

Di is alternativing between blaming me (for being a traitor), Raz (for teaching Andie enough she thought she could make a difference), Harry (for putting everyone at risk), and the Order (for not actually keeping everyone safe). She's swearing she won't send Dal back here, or Trae (who'd be starting this coming year).

It was so horrible, but it's also - she can't be the only one feeling like that. And I don't even know where to start with it, but we have to keep it in mind.

Two friends came to the funeral, mostly to see me. Dai's family are farmers, near Bangor, in Wales, and he said they feel right nervous - they're not far from Snowdonia. Could we Fidelius for them? They've surplus food to trade, including a lot of dairy and eggs, and they're willing to take in people.

The other was my former YPL clerk, Felix Green. He's now working for a collection of agricultural businesses near Glasgow, and they want to help feed people. Also, they have someone who can help with repairs to the greenhouses. I suggested supplying food here might be a start - we're running rather low on some things, and it'd be easier to coordinate security with one place than half a dozen. I can set the elves on it if there's no objections.

Also. Money. Someone asked me about it today and, well. Raz left me rather a lot ~~and it can't go to Harry or Daphne now~~. I want to use it for Hogwarts, if we can get at personal vaults. Other things too, as we need, but Hogwarts most. ~~I keep wondering about Spence~~

I stopped in at the Mortal Man before going to the funerals. Lots of people asking after you, and I said you'd been so horribly busy, but you were right where you were needed most, doing the things you do best. Saving people. Alun and Deirdre look tired, but are well otherwise.

The area the inferi went through still looks horrible, but it's spring, and so you get the oddest bits of things growing back. And they had a couple of those weird magical effects. A whole stretch of road by the inn blossomed into a carpet of tiny blue flowers. And there's a bit down in Kendal where the ruins of a house turned into something like glass, all translucent. People are mostly still thinking about how to rebuild, and not wanting to leave the Fidelius yet.

We've both been so busy, I haven't had time for more than checking lists with the Hospital Wing, but - are you all right? As much as circumstances allow? Can I do anything to help?

And I keep wishing Pomona were here to see it, and then I keep being glad there's parts she missed.

I sincerely hope your familial conversations today were better than mine. Which were exhausting, when they weren't being horrible. And also that the arm is maybe mending a bit.

I suspect my tomorrow is entirely filled with wards in theory and practice, and how one goes about undoing brand new forms of magic. Which is a rather better way to spend the day. If you're me, anyway.

Mum and Dad expect to be back helping tomorrow, too. Mum's obviously got plenty to keep her busy with sorting out food, but I'm wondering if we need an accountant to keep track of things either here or at Dover. If so, Dad would be entirely delighted.

Shall.

Marzipan and stars sound rather lovely. And brandy and butterbeer respectively.

My father was focused on work. I mostly just introduced him to Charlie before being pulled in a dozen other direction. I'm now down in Dover again, trying to sort through communications. Looks like we'll be pushing a 'humanitarian relief' in a 'war zone' angle. I looks like there is someone from the United Nations (whatever that is) asking questions, but I think it means news of changing events has spread beyond magical France. If Alice or Rachel (given her history) or Charlie (to deal with the Goblins) don't pick him for their team first, send your Dad to Dover. Too many numbers and calculations on top of everything else.

I don't recall what I've said to who at this point, but I'm so sorry for your loses. We can commiserate about family whenever you wish.

My arm feels like it twitches occasionally, but I don't think it has actually moved. Still in a sling. It looks like Jaspar's going to be able to borrow my broom for a good long while. Poppy is refusing to provide wakefulness potions, for fear of interfering with the healing, which means I need to find a cot and crash again after I finish sorting this pile of messages.

We'll see about Dad, then. (I think Rachel unnerves him a bit, so it's probably between Alice, Charlie, and you.)

Thank you. I feel so odd about some of it. Mum included Harry yesterday, didn't warn me she was going to. And that helped a bit, because it's been sort of awkward and feeling like other people had a lot more - well, like I should shut up about it.

The story I told was being down in the kitchen at Spence, one of the first times I cooked there, and him and Raz sitting there and trying things as I made them (and of course I went overboard, like you do, when you have people who will try lots of things.) And realising in the middle of it that Harry hadn't ever really had that kind of home, and wanting to make it keep happening, again and again.

Raz didn't either, really.

Anyway. Evelyn came up and she managed to track down marzipan for me, and there were stars, and that helped with all the other memories that keep coming up.

And Orion and Andie, well. Different. Orion was buried in Mysteries most of the time anyway, and we hadn't been that close. (I mean, I loved him, but not like it would be if it were Storm, or even Theo these days).

And Andie dying is horrible, but there's so many horrible stories here, and at least with her it's clear she made the choice to try and save other people (and did) and that matters to me, even if it doesn't apparently help Di.

I'm sorry about your arm. Still exceedingly glad you're not dead, I was so worried for a bit.

Oh, thank you. I'm not sure when I'll have time to stop up to Cumbria next. I'm glad to hear- well, it's relieving news. Bless you for going.

I'm glad to think that the funeral helped; I'd feared for you that it might be so difficult as to be damaging. Your family has been thoroughly changed by the events of this conflict, and that must be very, very hard.

I'm perfectly alright. Still busier than one would wish, but things are easing a bit. And one needs only remember the press of events overnight Saturday to regain perspective.

And I do remember. It was such a comfort to set up in Pomona's greenhouse. She'd have been appalled, of course, what we were forced to do to so many of her plantings (but I suppose few of them were hers--that's a helpful thought). She'd have wanted to assist, though, and of course she'd have understood the need and would have done whatever was needed.

She'd be so pleased about Tilda, too. And, truly, her farm was invaluable as a staging area.

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Private message to Evelyn

Private message to Alice and Remus

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Private message to Cedric

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