Aurora Sinistra (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
alt_sinistra) wrote2015-05-20 10:40 pm
alt_sinistra) wrote2015-05-20 10:40 pm
Order Only
I've just come back from the funerals for my brother and Andie.
We have a tradition, our family. Every year, someone - Mum, usually - makes a special mead. If there's deaths during the year, we share a bottle. Tell stories about them. Pour out what wasn't drunk in the new year, as a thank you we didn't need it.
And we did for Orion, and for Andie. And then Mum insisted we do it for Harry.
Someone writes down all the things people say. (A complete version, and a - well, people often say stupid things, and so there's a version with those taken out that's easier to reread later.) I have copies, if anyone wants to see what it's like. It's not supposed to be the big stories, the things everyone knows, but smaller things, the things that person just enjoyed a lot.
It doesn't help enough, but it's better than a lot of other things people do for funerals. And having a thing to read privately later, that helps some too.
It doesn't need to be a big thing, or everyone there. Just - I thought I'd pass it on, for anyone it might help.
We have a tradition, our family. Every year, someone - Mum, usually - makes a special mead. If there's deaths during the year, we share a bottle. Tell stories about them. Pour out what wasn't drunk in the new year, as a thank you we didn't need it.
Someone writes down all the things people say. (A complete version, and a - well, people often say stupid things, and so there's a version with those taken out that's easier to reread later.) I have copies, if anyone wants to see what it's like. It's not supposed to be the big stories, the things everyone knows, but smaller things, the things that person just enjoyed a lot.
It doesn't help enough, but it's better than a lot of other things people do for funerals. And having a thing to read privately later, that helps some too.
It doesn't need to be a big thing, or everyone there. Just - I thought I'd pass it on, for anyone it might help.
Re: Private message to Cedric
Thank you. I feel so odd about some of it. Mum included Harry yesterday, didn't warn me she was going to. And that helped a bit, because it's been sort of awkward and feeling like other people had a lot more - well, like I should shut up about it.
The story I told was being down in the kitchen at Spence, one of the first times I cooked there, and him and Raz sitting there and trying things as I made them (and of course I went overboard, like you do, when you have people who will try lots of things.) And realising in the middle of it that Harry hadn't ever really had that kind of home, and wanting to make it keep happening, again and again.
Raz didn't either, really.
Anyway. Evelyn came up and she managed to track down marzipan for me, and there were stars, and that helped with all the other memories that keep coming up.
And Orion and Andie, well. Different. Orion was buried in Mysteries most of the time anyway, and we hadn't been that close. (I mean, I loved him, but not like it would be if it were Storm, or even Theo these days).
And Andie dying is horrible, but there's so many horrible stories here, and at least with her it's clear she made the choice to try and save other people (and did) and that matters to me, even if it doesn't apparently help Di.
I'm sorry about your arm. Still exceedingly glad you're not dead, I was so worried for a bit.