Private message to Narcissa Malfoy
Apr. 5th, 2012 09:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_sinistraNarcissa -
Raz told me a bit about your conversation yesterday. It has indeed been a very difficult week, following challenging months. Far more my fault than his, though a chance to rest and talk things through has helped me begin to get my feet under me again. I think the best way forward is a bit blunt, to avoid further confusion. I hope you don’t mind.
I was a very late bloomer in a number of ways - in school outside of astronomy, in making friends, in social graces, in dating. I’ve never had many close friends, and those I’ve been closest to have mostly been family or other astronomers.
I do enjoy what one of my mentors called friendly acquaintanceships - so many topics are interesting, if you’re talking with someone who cares about them. But making that next step to true friendship and sharing more personal things is usually very slow for me. That Raz and I ended up as we did still amazes me as much as it delights me.
And when things are not going smoothly, I get even more careful. (Blame it on spending so much time in a field where precision is an illuminating virtue.) That makes it particularly hard, I think, to share how I’m feeling when there’s a problem. Or a question. Or a weakness.
However, this week has been proof that what I’ve been trying on my own is not enough, in a number of ways, and that some changes are necessary. If you are still willing to offer advice, to let me ask questions, to share your time, I would be most grateful.
I don’t have any particular appointments between now and the reception, and I certainly do have a few related questions I’d love your help with. Or if that’s not possible, once we’re past Saturday, much of my calendar is open until we go back to school. I do appreciate, again, every kindness you’ve shown me on Raz’s behalf.
Raz told me a bit about your conversation yesterday. It has indeed been a very difficult week, following challenging months. Far more my fault than his, though a chance to rest and talk things through has helped me begin to get my feet under me again. I think the best way forward is a bit blunt, to avoid further confusion. I hope you don’t mind.
I was a very late bloomer in a number of ways - in school outside of astronomy, in making friends, in social graces, in dating. I’ve never had many close friends, and those I’ve been closest to have mostly been family or other astronomers.
I do enjoy what one of my mentors called friendly acquaintanceships - so many topics are interesting, if you’re talking with someone who cares about them. But making that next step to true friendship and sharing more personal things is usually very slow for me. That Raz and I ended up as we did still amazes me as much as it delights me.
And when things are not going smoothly, I get even more careful. (Blame it on spending so much time in a field where precision is an illuminating virtue.) That makes it particularly hard, I think, to share how I’m feeling when there’s a problem. Or a question. Or a weakness.
However, this week has been proof that what I’ve been trying on my own is not enough, in a number of ways, and that some changes are necessary. If you are still willing to offer advice, to let me ask questions, to share your time, I would be most grateful.
I don’t have any particular appointments between now and the reception, and I certainly do have a few related questions I’d love your help with. Or if that’s not possible, once we’re past Saturday, much of my calendar is open until we go back to school. I do appreciate, again, every kindness you’ve shown me on Raz’s behalf.
