I'm sorry we didn't get more chance to talk and follow up at the wedding, but Raz and I were doing our very best to put some of the gossip to rest. (Looking at the papers since, not nearly enough, but I suppose every bit helps.)
I do keep thinking over what we talked about at tea. About what it means to marry in. The implications. The costs. What you said about the constant maneuvering and power struggles, and how that affects everything around, even when nothing actually changes. And I do appreciate your honesty, truly.
And yet, as I pointed out to a friend this past winter, what would change if I said no to him? (Not that I want to: it's not Raz himself who's the difficulty at all.) Everything else would still be as it is, and being slightly more distant from it isn't that much of a salve to the soul, really. This year at Hogwarts has brought that home and home again.
And I - stars and planets, of course I won't share about your worries. It's not like I don't have worries too, the ones that keep me up at night. I told Raz we talked a bit, about what being a Council wife is like, but not anything in detail.
I've never put much stock in Divination, which is why I didn't say much when you brought it up, what you remember seeing. Not seeing. But if it's worrying at you so much - would you feel better if you tried again, or worse? (I'd ask if there were someone you trusted, family or whoever - but I know what you'd say to that, so never mind.)
The thing I keep coming back to is making the most of the days we do get, however many of them there are. I'm not sure anyone anywhere can do better than that, even without the other pieces in play that you've lived with, and I'm learning to.
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Private message to Chloe Selwyn
Date: 2013-04-16 05:59 pm (UTC)I'm sorry we didn't get more chance to talk and follow up at the wedding, but Raz and I were doing our very best to put some of the gossip to rest. (Looking at the papers since, not nearly enough, but I suppose every bit helps.)
I do keep thinking over what we talked about at tea. About what it means to marry in. The implications. The costs. What you said about the constant maneuvering and power struggles, and how that affects everything around, even when nothing actually changes. And I do appreciate your honesty, truly.
And yet, as I pointed out to a friend this past winter, what would change if I said no to him? (Not that I want to: it's not Raz himself who's the difficulty at all.) Everything else would still be as it is, and being slightly more distant from it isn't that much of a salve to the soul, really. This year at Hogwarts has brought that home and home again.
And I - stars and planets, of course I won't share about your worries. It's not like I don't have worries too, the ones that keep me up at night. I told Raz we talked a bit, about what being a Council wife is like, but not anything in detail.
I've never put much stock in Divination, which is why I didn't say much when you brought it up, what you remember seeing. Not seeing. But if it's worrying at you so much - would you feel better if you tried again, or worse? (I'd ask if there were someone you trusted, family or whoever - but I know what you'd say to that, so never mind.)
The thing I keep coming back to is making the most of the days we do get, however many of them there are. I'm not sure anyone anywhere can do better than that, even without the other pieces in play that you've lived with, and I'm learning to.