Private message to Poppy Pomfrey

[alt_sinistra]

Poppy -

Have a moment for a question? If you're not caught up from the chaos earlier this week, this can certainly wait.

My sister Tempest asked me about something about those pamphlets from Wizarding Repopulation. I usually toss them as soon as I get them, but I just got the latest round and had a closer look.

Have you seen their The Reality of Contraceptive Charms and Potions: The Risks You May Not Know? It’s not even the worst of the lot on the surface (that title goes to either Enticing Him To Ask: Getting Your Wizard To Propose for sheer manipulative nastiness, or Don't Let Your Time Turner Run Out!: What Every Witch Needs to Know About Her Internal Clock which includes the line “Fellow witches, the future of the Protectorate lies between our hipbones.” and gets worse from there.)

Anyway, Temp’s question was about their recommendations. They imply that longer-acting charms and potions are less safe, may lead to fertility concerns later, and are also less effective. They suggest the calendaring option, or an as needed potion or charm, but avoiding the commercial preparations entirely (While also intimating that most witches don’t have the skills to handle these things reliably themselves.) What options remain - besides pregnancy - is left as an exercise to the bewildered reader.

But Mum’s always told me that calendaring’s far more useful for those trying to conceive than those trying to avoid it, and that the long-acting or daily charms and potions are both more reliable and less likely to be forgotten in the moment. (As she put it, rummaging for a potion or your wand is easy to put off when you’d rather cuddle in a warm bed.) Though, of course the WRO also implies one should talk to the experts (theirs, preferably), rather than trust one’s family.

Any rate: I’m happy enough with my own choice (the Adsimilis Silphion charm), but Temp’s less comfortable with any charm that doesn’t involve food, so I thought I’d check with you for alternatives. I was going to suggest Madame Selene’s Prophylactic Precaution, and I know some people like the Felicitous Ferula one, too.

I can bring the pamphlet by, but it might be a bit - I’m still working through creating exams. (Oddly, the projections should make for much better exams, but they're more complicated to prep.)

Comments

[alt_poppy]

First of all, you mother is a very intelligent witch. I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know, of course.

Calendaring. Honestly.

And you are your mother's daughter. Adsimilis Silphion is solidly effective, entirely safe, and has the benefit of being inexpensive in contrast to commercial preparations. You're right, of course, it is a somewhat complex spell and is, thus, not the right choice for every witch.

I think either of the products you mention would be safe and reasonably reliable. With Madame Selene's it's important to have a regular (and compatible) cycle, as it is based on the rhythms of the lunar calendar and can go awry if there is too much variability or if the body's cycle is ill-aligned to the astronomical one. On the whole, I think I'd point her towards Ferula, either in a self-brewed potion (I could dig up a recipe) or in its commercial form. That has the advantage of being effective after the fact, as it were, if a witch finds herself having taken unprotected risks. I suspect that the pamphlets do not mention this.

Speaking of which. I have a parcel here from W.R. that is, I'm sure, my annual complement of pamphlets meant to be distributed to our school leavers. It's been a while since I've bothered reading them, but I'll have a look.

[alt_sinistra]

I'll tell her you said so. But yes, I do rather trust her advice over the WRO, given her track record of having children when she wanted, and not when she didn't. (Diane's, too, actually, though she made a start at it younger than Mum did.)

I'll suggest the Ferula to Temp, then. If you do find a recipe you like, I'd love to pass it along, but it's nice to have the commercial variant as a backup. (The hours she's keeping right now are worse than mine.) And you're quite right that the pamphlets mention not a word about what a witch might do if she finds herself in need of something after the fact.

As to the charm, yes. Always thought it's a particularly intriguing design, mimicking what used to be a potion. (The idea that there's a plant that was so widely used for centuries and then just went extinct almost makes me fascinated by the herbology, too.) And I do like that I don't need to think about it except once a month.

I'd be curious what your set of pamphlets say when you get a chance. Frankly, I wonder if they're as pervasively, what's the word, rhetorical in the same ways. (And not even all that effective. On the first, I can't think of a list of things more likely to make Raz run the other way. Except that he did appreciate my cooking last Sunday morning.)

But this round's pile includes everything from the philosophy of magical lineage (and thus choosing a mate whose magical skills and line complement yours) to avoiding squibs to exhortation that motherhood is the greatest thing a witch can ever aspire to.

I admit I am less averse to the eventual idea than I was a year ago, but really. Does that actually work with anyone not already inclined to want children?

The contraceptive one worries me, though. That people might take their advice and find themselves in difficulty because of it. And yet, one can scarcely complain, surely. (Especially not me, at the moment.)

[alt_poppy]

It's occurred to me, reading between the lines of these pamphlets, that another thing we mention all too infrequently is contraceptive methods for wizards. I don't know whether your sister is in a position to recommend such a thing to her partner--or whether she ought to rely on him in this way--but there is a potion marketed as the Seaman's Shield, which is every bit as effective as the best potions for witches.

[alt_sinistra]

Isn't it funny how rarely that comes up? Raz and I were talking about it not too long ago, and he admitted most people he's heard mention it don't care for a couple of the side effects. I'd heard the same thing from partners in the past, too (though I gather the formula's been improved again since). Bluntly, that enough men have less desire for sex, and consider that a poor trade for less chance of pregnancy.

Honestly, though, I'd also rather be in charge of it myself. I have trusted all my past partners to be honest if they used it, and a couple of them have used Seaman's Shield as well as my using the charm. But it's also always been the case that pregnancy would have weighed more on me than on them. And one does hear the stories of someone saying they took it, and using something entirely different, just as one hears the stories of women claiming the same to trick a man into marriage.

Are the student pamphlets as horrible as the adult ones? Something else struck me, reading through these again, that they do also seem to ignore the idea people might be having sex outside an engagement, at least. Or at least strongly implying that nice people don't do that, and I wondered if that's the same in the school-leaver's set.

[alt_poppy]

The one for young wizards is called Assuming Responsibility and is all about taking decisions and making one's way in the world of work and adult citizenship.

It recommends both financial planning and family starting with slogans like 'don't delay, begin today'. There's an explicit emphasis on marriage, likening the choice of a spouse to the decision about what job offer one should accept. (As if a wizard should expect a range of choices--on either front--from which he may select that one best suited to his special temperament and tastes.)

There's nothing in here about contraception at all; the health recommendations are all to do with having one's teeth and body checked over annually.

[alt_sinistra]

That emphasis does fit with some of the WRO ones I've got - lots of language about the Repopulation Rewards programme, and naturally how you'll qualify all the sooner if you begin your family early. Though of course, by their standards, I'm quite elderly already.

I admit, I'm now deeply curious what the halfbloods get. I might have a quiet ask around with a few friends. All the language here is preserving pureblood lineages, presumes that of course a pureblood will marry (and have children with) another pureblood.

But quite the same language about making the best choice, and presuming that one will have a variety of options laid out before one. (Which, I must say, has not been my experience. Or at least, the times there have been apparent options, most of them did not appeal. Stint and Gimlet both come to mind, for all their lineage is technically desireable.)

[alt_poppy]

The one for witches is called Weighing Your Options and includes lines like 'The workaday world will always wait if you choose marriage and motherhood as your first priority' and 'It is, of course, possible to work while you parent: people do it every day'.

The health section in this one focuses on sound teeth and bones, and on eating well in order to keep one's bodily cycles in top form.

This one does at least mention family planning, recommending natural methods like lunar synchronisation and calendrical plotting. And then it directs those interested to a separate pamphlet called Reproductive Rhythms: Nature's Way.

Unfortunately, they've not included that one for me to distribute.

[alt_sinistra]

Goodness. Can't say I'm surprised, really.

And yes, there's one here about how house-elves and muggleborns of course remove so many of the complications of modern parenthood. I must say, I don't trust that much, even having seen Diane's household in action. And more to the point, is that kind of hands-off approach at all good for the child?

(I admit I've been thinking about the practical issues a bit more the last few months, for what must be obvious reasons. Raz and I are both well aware of the pressure, even while neither of us wants to rush anything.)

Do you - of course, if this crosses one of your oaths, don't worry about replying - but do you get many, boys or girls, asking you questions? Or are we sending them out into the world entirely unprepared, relying only on the Ministry (or their families and friends) for information?

[alt_poppy]

No, not at all.

I do answer every question I'm asked as clearly and fully as I can. And I have a brief illustrated talk I impose on every young person who comes in with anything vaguely related to their reproductive health.

You must not ever have come to me with monthly complaints or irregularities, if I didn't dispense that information to you. I do see quite a few witches with such issues, and I do my best to equip them with knowledge of how their bodies function (or fail to).

I used to leave out in the waiting area a lovely pair of charmed models of the male and female reproductive systems, along with some short texts on puberty and pregnancy and birth (the latter, I confess, was skillfully tilted towards those details that give young minds pause). I've had to give that up, however, as I was told off for it some time ago.

Do you know, I've long thought that the castle's protections may do a disservice to our young people by allowing them to experiment (as I'm quite certain they do) without incurring the consequences. No wonder so many pregnancies happen shortly after they've left school.

[alt_sinistra]

No, I never had to come see you myself - always been fortunate that way. And my first monthly was over the summer, so Mum talked me through all the practical, having done the theory before I started school.

I must say I'm more and more grateful to her for being so matter of fact about it. Temp mentioned that so many of her friends don't dare talk to their mothers about that kind of thing. Not in any detail, and especially if it's a relationship that may not be serious. (Except, of course, that Mum hasn't needed the pregnancy prevention precautions for a bit now, and doesn't know the best recent options. That's what older sisters are for.)

On the one hand, I can't blame people. I didn't tell Mum and Dad much about most of my relationships. (Especially Dad. He's sometimes a bit prone to worry.) But then they were all when I was off on research projects, and we both knew they were short-term only, and I was in my 20s by then. But I'd never have hesitated to ask if I needed help.

I do agree on the protections perhaps being a disservice, though I do think Helga was in the right to put them in in the first place. And yet, that isn't the only worry, either - well, given that whole mess with Orion Sandoval, or the students I know Raz sent to you for some further education before the Ball this winter.

[alt_poppy]

Actually, I was on the verge of saying that I almost wish we had a case of the clap every year or so, just as a reminder to the rest of them that pregnancy is not the only matter for concern.

And, of course, for the ones who are not attracted to the opposite gender, there's the danger that they'll not think they could ask me--for information or counsel or physical concerns--because, somehow, they get it in mind that preventing pregnancy is my only brief when it comes to sexuality. Or perhaps they expect I'll disapprove.

[alt_sinistra]

It did seem to keep the concern nicely front and center, yes. And then there's all the other issues, bodies being the complicated things they are.

One of the slightly older women on the same project, the summer of my first relationship, sat me down and ran through a lot of that, and then more beside. Not just the stuff you need to know, but the things that make the whole experience of sexuality that much more pleasant and enjoyable. (I've been grateful to her - and that first relationship - ever since, mind you. Much better than fumbling through it.)

Though, of course, I suspect that either of us even suggesting at that kind of information would go badly awry here, much as it's actually useful and needful.

On the latter - yes. Gilly and I've talked about it, more than a little. She and her Juniper have been doing their best to quietly chat with people who could use a little info of that kind, as they can. But it's not easy.

And the more so, I suspect, the more pressure there is to have children. In confidence, I might tell you that Gilly a friend of mine's had her own experiences with the WRO there. Got called in not too long ago, and carefully told (this, they don't have pamphlets for) that preferring women to men is no reason she couldn't have a child, and they'd be glad to help coordinate a donor father of suitable background.

She found the whole thing distasteful. And they couldn't seem to decide how to handle it - she's a halfblood, but with some skills that they'd clearly like to see if they can encourage in the next generation.