Private message to Raz

[alt_sinistra]

Love? No more YPL for me as of the afternoon of the 18th. Not by my choice. And you’re not going to like the new leadership one bit.

I’m not going to fight it, though. Promise. Don’t have it in me after this spring. (Even without a rather blunt suggestion that being “reasonable” and "graceful" about this is particularly in my best interest this week.)

Truth is, I’m just sort of numb.

I’ve got to make the right noises here for a while longer - we’re all being so terribly polite about it -  and there’s some parchment work to get started on. But I’ll be back at Spence sometime late this afternoon and I’d welcome whatever distraction you can come up with tonight. (If you’re not able to get free, tell me and I’ll go lose myself in charts in the guild hall.)

Morgana's tits. Getting extremely drunk is so very tempting, but I don’t dare given the next few days. Besides, not how I want to spend our time together this week.

Tell me it’ll all be all right?

Comments

[alt_rabastan]

Blast it. And after all the time and effort you put in, too. I'm sorry, love, truly.

Though I can't say I didn't have an inkling that something like this was coming. This, or either you getting strong-armed into more and more decisions that you aren't fully comfortable with, or that clash with your vision of how the YPL should benefit students. I have to say that I prefer this to the latter, though I'm sure that provides little comfort.

Who will the new leadership be, then?

And what reasoning did they give for their decision?

Once we announce the engagement I might stand a chance at changing their minds, you know. But from your tone I gather you don't want that. And I fear that even if I could persuade them otherwise, they'd find ways to make you sorry for it, just the same.

[alt_sinistra]

Dearest, thank you again for last night. It made all the difference, knowing you were waiting.

I’m even more certain I don’t want to - can’t bear to - fight it. Partly because they’ve been so careful this time: not a complaint about my actions or work, but rather “we’d like to go in new directions.” And you’re so right that even if we managed one last gasp, they’d try something even worse.

Just - you don’t think I’m a coward, for giving up? Or that I’m letting students down? You’re right that it’s hurting more and more to ask them to do things I’ve got huge concerns about. (This afternoon’s tasks among them.)

There’s still things I’m worrying about. How things go tomorrow. Court on Friday. Next week. What students - and various others - will assume, and why. And I’m sure you’re going to tell me it’s silly, but I do fret about the money (there’s no denying the YPL salary has made things easier for me).

Just have to trust that somehow it’ll all work out right. And even I have to agree that no amount of hard work would let me juggle teaching and the YPL and planning a wedding. There are simply not enough hours. (Are you shocked I'm admitting that?)

On scheduling: should be back around half-eight tonight (I’d like to stay through the lecture.) Tomorrow, if all goes well, I should be back before supper. I need to be in Leicester most of Thursday, but I’ve cleared all Friday, so I have plenty of time to get ready for the afternoon, and gotten Saturday morning free as well. (I feel somewhat less guilt about that given yesterday’s news, too.)

Love you. Always love you.