Hic certe mira res sit
Aug. 10th, 2012 01:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_sinistraAmor chaos comitatur, praecedit mundum … obscura illuminat, vivificat mortuos, format informia, perficit imperfect.
Marsilio Ficino, De Amore i:iii
Marsilio Ficino, De Amore i:iii
alt_sinistra
Private message to Mum and Dad
Date: 2012-08-10 09:05 pm (UTC)Mum, I'm sure there'll be all sorts of opinions about plans. Did you know it's been, what, five years since any of the Council Members married? And that was Nisha Desai and Kamesh Pandya, so all sorts of different specifics there.
Dad, I know it's traditional for the bride's father to cover many of the expenses, but that seems entirely unfair to you and to Sage and Tempest down the road. I think Raz is likely to insist on helping, given other conversations we’ve had, and I have savings too. Can we talk further about that, and what’s fair all round? Please?
Supper Monday or Wednesday this coming week, and we can begin to talk through some things? (Just you both, please. It's been a hard week for other reasons, and I'm not up to dealing with Diane on planning yet.) Harry’s still at Leicester, so Raz should be free as well. Working on notes out tonight to the family and a few friends (and he’s got people to tell too), public announcement sometime. If - when, really - you get press inquiries, direct them to Raz, please.
Thank you - always, forever - for all your support and patience, and for being so welcoming to Raz. (And Mum, thank you again for letting me cry on your shoulder yesterday. Really did help me go into last night the way I wanted.)
Much love and see you soon.
Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-10 09:45 pm (UTC)Raz proposed on the 25th. Took me entirely by surprise, but of course I said yes.
But then there was the (very tricky) part of getting Our Lord’s approval. I was so terrified we wouldn’t, and that it’d change everything in my life in all the worst ways. But today, we got His permission and I feel like I can breathe again. I do hope you’ll both be happy for us.
There’s so much that’s complicated about the whole thing, but what’s simple is how much I love him (and he loves me, he insists), and how we’re better for having each other. Even while I keep wondering how we ever got to this place.
It’s been horrible not telling either of you, but we only told my parents (and Narcissa because I needed her advice). Do forgive me? Our Lord requested Minerva’s presence when we asked permission, so she already knows, though I’ve no real idea what she thinks. And we’ll manage some sort of public announcement soon, though I’ve a few people to tell first and so does he.
Poppy, your delicate sense of traditional manners might be amused that part of the reason he invited all my family over was to get my father alone and ask formally for permission. (Dad was amused but rather pleased. I've gotten over my annoyance and am now amused as well.)
And Pomona, Mum’s already been bending my ear about family traditions, and there’s a few Herbology related pieces I’d love to get a refresher on so I can decide whether I have an opinion.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 01:30 am (UTC)Congratulations are certainly in order. (Thus, congratulations, my dear!)
Of course I'll be happy to help with Herbology matters--were you thinking of using the language of flowers, or does you family have its own traditions?
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 01:40 am (UTC)I really am very happy. If still a bit stunned.
On the Herbology - there's the language of flowers piece, of course, though some of that depends on when we pick. But Mum's also got a whole lot of family tradition notes from both her side and Dad's. I've not gone into the details too far with her yet, couldn't bear to until we were sure. They disagree on which plants are best for some of the family charms. (Something about number of petals and leaf structure, combined with flowering and budding patterns and harvest cycles. Entirely over my head.)
Which brings me to ask: I don't want to make things too difficult for you, truly, and I know you've not the most pleasant experience of the topic.
If you'd rather I didn't discuss plans overmuch with you, I won't. But at the same time, friends who won't push about their own biases are likely to be in rather short supply. And I do trust your common sense far beyond most people's.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 01:50 am (UTC)Would it be an imposition if I were to owl your mother directly? It would spare you all the Herbological back-and-forth at least, though the final decisions would all be yours of course.
And as to the latter, well, I won't deny I've biases of my own (and some of my friends would say I don't keep them to myself as well as I ought), but that's old business now.
Theodore is off with his gout and his playing gentleman farmer and his two-Knut Demeter, and I'm well shot of him, but it doesn't mean I've soured on the institution altogether.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 01:56 am (UTC)Please do owl Mum directly, if you'd like: you're quite right all the theory would be quite over my head. And until I'm done with the CCF work on the 18th, I've quite enough to juggle right now.
I'm glad to hear you're not soured on the idea entirely. And despite Raz's reputation, he really has been stellar about the whole thing. Very earnest and careful and sweet in the proposing, though I know a good portion of his friends would find the idea of "earnest" and "Raz" in the same sentence laughable.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 02:03 am (UTC)That said (and feel free to give me a good telling-off for this if I'm overstepping), be careful not to let go too much of yourself in the midst of all that's expected of you.
That's what I regret most about my own marriage. It takes a damned long time to get that back, when you've stuffed it into a box for someone else's sake.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 02:10 am (UTC)You're right that there are an awful lot of expectations though. And they're rather boggling sometimes. (Narcissa has been a great help, and far more generous with her advice than I'd have thought to ask for when we started dating.)
It is all nonsense. And the wedding likely more so. Good thing I've never really been one of those girls with strong ideas about what it has to look like or be like. The bit that matters is that we're married at the end, and know already I'll put up with a lot in service to that. (And honestly, it can't be that much worse than everyone's strong opinions about the YPL, can it?)
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 02:27 am (UTC)She's always struck me as the sort who could be a very good friend or...otherwise, if you take my meaning.
Speaking of which, I don't doubt that at least some of Raz's social circle consider social intimidation their bloodsport of choice, but I get the sense that you're already better than I ever was at handling that sort.
And oh goodness, YPL...I'm so sorry that you have to endure the regular presence of Dolores Umbridge in your life. That woman is an excrescence.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 02:45 am (UTC)On the social circle, rather. That's part of why I was being so diligent last Saturday - and why Raz was being so attentive. It is one of the places his reputation is a help, really. And why Narcissa's good will matters so much.
There seem to be very few people who'd risk annoying one or the other of them without far better cause than I intend to give. Mostly, I try to listen a lot, which can be rather informative and occasionally amusing.
As to Madam Umbridge, she really is. And I fear it's not going to improve any time soon. She makes my skin crawl. (And I'm dreading whether she notices the ring tomorrow, and comes over all helpful.)
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:09 am (UTC)Then she might not even notice.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:13 am (UTC)I didn't risk it last Saturday because that kind of thing can set off various wards and alarums. But it shouldn't in Leicester. And I won't be there terribly long anyway.
On the other hand, they're doing rough camping exercises tomorrow, and that's not precisely her favoured location. (Especially if it's as muddy as I think it might be.)
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:23 am (UTC)I shall take great pleasure in the fantasy, at the very least.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:27 am (UTC)Speaking of: I've had several long chats with Diggory. He's still not sure what he thinks of my advice for the third task. Since I'm not sure what I think of it, I scarcely blame him, but he's been sorting through rather a lot this summer. I've encouraged him to chat with you, too, when that's easier.
He's doing splendidly otherwise, though, and the comments I've heard about his flying suggest the team might actually have a solid chance at the Cup this year. (You may thank Raz entirely for my desire to be interested in Quidditch.)
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:40 am (UTC)Rolanda will probably appreciate your new-found interest more than I! I enjoy a good match, but don't interfere beyond that--I think it's good for them to have to sort it all out themselves.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:47 am (UTC)As to the Quidditch, well. Self-defence, really, to learn more about it. And far more enjoyable than some of the other subjects I've been having to pick up. (And honestly, setting up games for that model stadium I got Raz for his birthday is actually quite interesting, now I can make sense of it a bit more.)
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:34 am (UTC)Mud and Madam Umbridge?
Bless.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:42 am (UTC)I'm surprised at you!
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:42 am (UTC)(Or should we be worrying that your endless course requirements have finally sent you over the edge?)
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:51 am (UTC)(I believe I'm still this side of the precipice. Thank you.)
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 03:53 am (UTC)(And besides, I fully expect there will be further horrible pamphlets to discuss with you in the next round. And all sorts of other misguided advice.)
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 02:09 am (UTC)And, of course, I entirely understand that you were bound to keep mum until you'd got approval at Court. I can't imagine how nerve wracking that must have been.
When will you marry?
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 02:14 am (UTC)We're not quite sure yet on timing. Easter hols or summer, maybe. (They've both got their challenges, really.) Christmas hols are clearly not far enough away, given the social obligations.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 02:28 am (UTC)Sometimes in the rush of events, I know it can seem that one has already committed or missed the point of turning back, but, my dear, if you're feeling that way at all, know that it's not too late to reconsider. And, well, as awkward as it might seem to do so, it would be far worse to go forward if you've any reluctance.
Re: Private message to Poppy Pomfrey and Pomona Sprout
Date: 2012-08-11 02:34 am (UTC)Promise. I hadn't expected him to ask yet, but I've known for months I'd say yes if he did. In some ways, known for a very long time: Raz worked himself into my loyalty and my orbit far further back than I wanted to admit for ages.
Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 01:08 am (UTC)Because you seemed a bit stunned when we left court today.
In a good way, I hope?
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 01:20 am (UTC)(Writing endless notes to the family to go by owl is helping, mind you. Each time I write it out, it feels a little more real.)
As to the quote, on the contrary. Rather more "Whatever happens, this is all completely worth it." It translates - roughly, there aren't the right words in English, quite - to something like: Love walks along with chaos, precedes the world, lights the dark, forms the formless, and perfects the imperfect.
By which I very much mean that my life is far the better for you. If you'd had any doubt.
I'm up in the Painted Room, if you'd like to come keep me company, but I really do want to get the family notes done all at once so I can drop them off tomorrow for owl post on my way to Leicester. I've already sent a note to Gilly and Nashira's off with Dai's right now.
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 01:46 am (UTC)I was worried myself, but didn't allow myself to feel it. Told myself it wouldn't change the outcome even if I did, and that seemed to do the trick.
I am left wondering a bit about his Lordship's words- you know, what he said about how "there aren't many of mine who have done so much and asked for so little." I suppose he means this to be a gift, so we probably shouldn't expect new china once the wedding comes.
I will come up and keep you company in a bit. I'm bracing myself for Roddy's inevitable owl or PM. I'm not sure who looked more shocked at court today- him or Barty.
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 02:03 am (UTC)And yes, on the worrying. And you have taught me, love, that sometimes talking is not the thing that's helpful. I'm glad we spent the past fortnight as we did, enjoying the time we had together and not fretting about maybes.
What He said - yes. I wondered, too. But as gifts go, I will gladly take this. (Far more than china, which, really, when would we use it?)
As to your brother and Barty, well. Pomona just admitted she was quite surprised, even after seeing us together last weekend. And if we fooled her, I'm not that startled they didn't spot it.
The one I wasn't sure about is Minerva. It must have been awkward for her, and I've no idea how to read her response in the slightest.
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 03:08 am (UTC)As for Minerva- we'll have a good deal to discuss with her before the term starts. Hopefully she can sober up long enough to sit down with us and sort out the details.
Nothing from Roddy yet, but a PM from Barty. He sends his congratulations, but seems rather stoic. Well, one can't blame him, really.
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 03:16 am (UTC)Yes, on Minerva. Timing, among other things. (Christmas hols clearly are too soon. Waiting for summer - well, I don't fancy final planning alongside exams, really. Nor waiting that long. Easter hols seems plausible, but it's more complicated for Minerva.)
I'm glad Barty was pleasant. And after today - well, I can't blame him either. Having to be told no must have been miserable for him.
Do you really worry what your brother's going to say? Or is it more how he might say it?
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 03:22 am (UTC)Easter does seem like it might work out best, but we don't need to decide straight away, either.
As for Rod- let's just say that marriage isn't something he's advocated for in some time. I've also got this nagging feeling he's keeping a mistress- a real one, I mean. He's stepped out on Bella before, but it was always to draw Bella's attention back to their relationship. This time, he's keeping it to himself.
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 03:39 am (UTC)And no, we don't need decide immediately. I'd like to get past the CCF weeks, too, before I let anyone drag me into too many new details. Are you up for supper with Mum and Dad early this week, though? It'd be good to talk through some basic things, so they can help manage the rest of my family.
On your brother, well. Is there anything I can say to that paragraph that doesn't sound horrible? I do see the difficulty, though. And I'm sorry, love, that you're so worried.
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 03:52 am (UTC)Supper sounds brilliant. And as for Rod, it's not that I'm worried, it's that I'm simply not looking forward to. Barty says I should just let him speak, and I think he's right. It's not as if it'll change a thing, anyway.
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 04:01 am (UTC)And excellent, on supper. Mum likes feeding you up. And Dad can keep being proud.
Barty seems quite sensible. And really, it won't change anything, you're right.
It does make me think, mind you. You two brothers really are quite different - well, from what I've seen of him. (And I quite think I've the better model, there.)
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 04:45 am (UTC)If you've not heard from Rod, come to bed?
Re: Private message to Rory
Date: 2012-08-11 04:58 am (UTC)On my way.
I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good
Date: 2012-08-11 02:02 am (UTC)I mean the Latin words might each be code for something else, yeah?