Order Only - Private message to Alice

[alt_sinistra]

I asked the juniors what they wanted. Not all of them answered (if this were research, it would be an insufficent numerical sample).

But all who did made it clear they would rather take arbitrary Cruciation (that makes the point about unfairness, injustice, how the Protectorate is) than have me argue for some easier punishment to bear. More than one made it clear they expect to die young - making a difference if they can - and that Cruciation is minor in that context.

I think it would help a great deal if all of us had clarity, together, on what our immediate goals are. The Order, I mean.

Evelyn didn't reply there, but she did come to see me today. We talked mostly about other things, arithmancy and the projection stone design and stars and cats. She is a remarkable young woman, and I hope very much the conversation did her as much good as it did me. (She is looking more rested than she did in the last push for the Octoboros work, and said that Tosha sent her one of the better potions for the after effects of the curse. She wasn't sure what to make of it.)

My afternoon has also involved ninety minutes of Pomona being exceedingly disappointed in me. Very pointedly, and with a number of examples. I did not argue with her. (I've no idea what Albus thinks, our usual occlumency session is tomorrow. Not that he says much.)

Mum's here now, because she wanted to talk about Hydra's journal message, the difficult one. My oldest sister and her husband and my youngest brother are coming for the lecture in a bit, so Mum and I are taking the chance for a private chat while we can, and I've been showing her a few of the privacy charms she might find handy.

Comments

[alt_alice]

Yes.

Part of our driving mission as of late has been to build our numbers and make our case for those in the middle -- and although they are undoubtedly playing with fire, our youngest members have been incredibly effective at both.

I think one key is to have eyes wide open, and be flexible enough to be responsive as things evolve and change. Harry's positioning himself as a firebrand rather than the more moderate position he took over summer, but that too can be a possible advantage. A lightning rod rather than a low flame.

We keep inching closer and closer to a point of no return.

I'll see what I can do to make sure we're all reading from the same playbook, as it were.

[alt_sinistra]

Speaking as someone who spends a lot of time on a tall tower, the difficulty with lightning rods is that when and where lightning strikes is rather unpredictable even with the rod. But yes, flexibility, and everyone realising that we're moving to an edge and what that might cost.

Two things from tonight, about the middle.

I think Di and Chiron felt they had to show loyal (Chiron's in Internal Affairs), but the lecture gave them an excuse to check in with their Andie and Dal that no one could question. I got the sense there's been rather a lot of conversation among the parents in their social circles about how to react, and quite a few parents came tonight. Mum's going to work on getting more about that, since she sees Di almost daily and it's natural to talk about it.

Theo was unexpectedly interesting. He's been working in a pub in New London, and he said there's been a lot of talk about Laszlo's without mentioning it by name. Some of his pub's regulars stopped coming in, too afraid of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But there's others who've been showing up much more often. Want to know they're not alone in the world, talk about people not taking their friendships away. (I don't think there's actual sedition, where he is. But he wouldn't tell me if there was.)

[alt_alice]

And please know -- I want as many of our young people to pull through this as possible.

We need their minds, spirits, and sense of right and wrong shaping our future.

I'm not going to wrap them in cotton swabbing and set them on a shelf, but I will try to do what I can to make sure that enough of us are left when all is said and done. They're the reason we're doing this, after all.

[alt_sinistra]

I want that too. For all of them - everyone here, right now, in this building and all the ones who aren't here yet - to learn lots of things and grow up and be happy and get to love the people they want to love, and have whatever job they're good at, and not be scared all the time, and not be hurting and so much more. (Well, everyone outside this building too, really, but my oldest loyalty is to Hogwarts and what the school means.)

And I know that won't happen, because it already can't happen. But that's what I want.

About the juniors. I want them to have choices. To get to make choices. Even the choices that terrify me. And the ones that break my heart.

[alt_alice]

Yes.

Yes indeed.