I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

Briefly, and avoiding the technical babble, I believe we've been entirely wrong in thinking about the initial wards - the ones in 83 - as a wall.

Instead, think of it like rotating the entire country just slightly out of alignment with the rest of the world, pivoting on Dover. Entirely unbelievable, except that it's the only explanation that actually fits the data. Especially the portkey and floo issues, and the readings we were able to take at Dover this week. (Evelyn and Jeremy have run several dozen models for me.)

I wouldn't rush about this, especially not with happier news tonight, only, if I'm right, there's reasons the wards dropped briefly at the solstices. What they did in 83, it causes tensions in the world. (Fu and Regina described it as 'like the effect of tectonic plates moving against each other' but geomancy is entirely not my field.)

But now the wards don't drop, that pressure is almost certainly building up, and the models suggest we could see further earthquakes like the one at Saltash. Or other effects, like wild magic or tremendous storms. (No idea when: could be today, could be years.) For us. And on the other side of the wards.

Anyway, I got this far because I knew Alde - Aldebarana Moran, my own Master - had been consulting on something with the Council in 82, but she never talked about what, so I've been going through her private working journals. They're absurdly cryptic, even after I figured out the actual cipher.

She refers to the other people by pseudonyms - mostly from obscure 17th century wizarding plays and the occasional later opera - so I've been trying to figure out who she's referring to, so that I can chart who contributed what. And now I'm wondering if she made me learn the literature so I could make sense of her journals, it'd be just like her.

The next step is tricky. What I'd like is permission to approach my Guild Master, Georg Bright. I think it'd be safe enough, and I know he's got several of the titles I'd need to make progress (and obviously, access to many other useful resources.) I can explain more if you like, but maybe better you ask questions than me assume what they are.

Severus, I'm including you both for your thoughts on how to handle it securely, and because you might know who else Alde was working with in the 80s. I can give you sketches of her pseudonyms and what she mentions about them, if you like, or come meet you.

Tosha wrote. The first time since - since December and everything. I can show you the message, and Alice, I know you're busy, but part of this is time-sensitive.

Some of it's about books (and I've no idea if there's a hidden message in there, there might be, but I'd need a couple more books to figure out if there is. They'd be easy for Jeremy or Nick or someone to pick up.)

But then he says that Severus making it clear he's in the Order makes him sure that Draco's alive. That, and knowing me and knowing Poppy, and knowing that there's things she and I wouldn't be party to. (Only it's more complicated than that, isn't it, but he's right about Draco. Sorry, I'm babbling.)

And then he gave me an ultimatum - that Narcissa needs to know. (Which she does, obviously, but he doesn't know that.) He says: "Does Narcissa know her son is still alive? Because if she doesn't, that is incredibly cruel of you. You have a week to find some way of telling me that she does that will satisfy your people in charge and their security measures, before I take care of it myself."

Obviously, I can't say anything to him in the journals, that'd put Narcissa at risk, he knows people are reading, and I won't do that. (Even if I hadn't promised Alice I wouldn't write.)

And I suppose the worst that could happen is that he tells Narcissa in a week, and she has to sort out what her reaction is with no warning, but honestly, Narcissa's Narcissa, and I'm sure she'd manage well enough. But I can also think of ways we could manage a private enough note, maybe. (I'm quite sure he'd go a very long way to avoid hurting her or putting her at risk.)

And then he said something - one of the Russian proverbs, it's about not talking about rope in the house of a hanged man - that he knows his entries might be read (well, especially to me) but in a way that makes me wonder what else he put together. And then he ends with "Give Miss L my best. And the other whose location I think you know."

And that might be Poppy, but I'm rather thinking it's Cedric he means, only that wouldn't be safe to say at all. Or acknowledge.

Right. Like I promised, writing this out, so we can both refer back to it. As much as I can, I want to do things so that if there's ever a time in the future when we're not, well, fugitives, it will be simple and obvious for the Guild to understand and recognise the work you've done.

The simple part is the next few months. I think we can quickly get you through the rest of the OWL material, then start on the NEWT content. I have old exam copies, so you can sit one or two of those, and that would give us some documentation for later.

In the normal way of things, you'd spend the first 2 years or so after the NEWT continuing broad education in the field (though apprenticed to a Master who worked in your general area of interest.) It's only after that you'd think about focusing on a particular topic. But that seems idiotic here, when specialising sooner might be very helpful to the Order in various ways.

As I think you know, the basic divisions of the field are observation, theory and cosmology, locational magics, chronological magics, and design of telescopes and related devices. We'll continue to work on observation, and the NEWT material is the beginning of work on theory and cosmology. Clearly, locational and chronological magics are more practical use in many ways.

I've done a lot more with the locational magics. They include the Octoboros work, location-based wards, or apparation by coordinates. Also the Floo Network and Portkeys, but there's a lot of specialised knowledge for those I don't have. I've been starting to see what I can work out about how the initial wards in 83 were cast. Whatever else we do, your help with the equations as I work through possibilities would be very useful.

Chronological magics encompass everything from time-based triggers for something (either short term, or longer term) to cyclical magics. Some agricultural magics, potions that require specific astronomical conjunctions to work. Also things like the effects of comets on systems, long-term magics, herbology, potions, etc. I've done rather less here, but I do know most of the theory.

I'd suggest one of those two as the most likely to be useful, but I don't know if it's better for you to do locational (where you've done some and I'm stronger) or focus on the chronological (and start getting comfortable with practical applications I haven't done much with.) Which is the bit where we could both talk to other people about what would be best.

More in a minute, about the traditional bits.

The message is saying that Tosha the Headmaster he is delayed, and would I come down and let myself into his rooms and wait.

Which. If I didn't know.

Cedric, there's nothing new?

It's his wards, they'll hold quite a bit. I have a broom and a plan up here. Not going down the stairs until we're sure it's safe.

I am cancelling class tonight. Third years, finish the assignment given in class today before our next session.

Seventh years, please continue to work on your ongoing research projects. If the weather clears, you are welcome to use the tower on your own under the usual agreements, but materials in my office or the classroom won't be available.

As always, questions welcome here, or you can make an appointment for next week.

I know what the Headmaster was trying to avoid with his punishments. I don't know if you want to hear it. I do agree with him that there are things that would be much worse. And he was afraid of those.

I tried to explain this, yesterday. To Alice and Remus and Albus and Poppy and Pomona and Severus. It went - badly.

It was suggested that I should ask you. Quite right, that. I'm sorry I didn't earlier. Had to find words. Get time to think.

So. I'm asking you what you want. What punishments you're willing to bear and what you aren't. When you do things that are going to get a punishment, no matter how much they matter and how much they're right. (Because if he doesn't punish some things, that'd be a whole other set of problems, and I think not the ones you want. Maybe I'm wrong.)

What you think works here, in this school, right now. Not the one we had when I was a student, or the one from six years ago or six months ago. Or even six days. We don't live there anymore.

He may not ask my advice or tell me in advance what he's planning (he didn't Thursday). But I do think he'll listen. And that maybe I can nudge things, if I know what would help your plans, in a way that'd help. Think about it.

Last spring, Raz and I started talking a lot about how our generation had failed you. All of you. Too many ways. The more things I see, the more that's right. You all deserve better. I'm sorry for my part in that.

I've started a message so many times, thinking you're just somewhere else, before I remember you're not. That it will remind people you're gone. But I promised myself, if I made it this far, I'd let myself write.

How did my sky change so much, so fast? I keep doing arithmancy, the patterns. Three years ago today, you thought Barty was dead, and we ended up in your bed, and everything shifted for the best.

975 days from then to that last lazy morning, before - before. (Minus the weeks Madam Toad stole.) 53 weeks to the day that we were married. 121 days since he killed you. Four months.

I miss so much, love. How you could change the world for me in a sentence. Your laugh. That you always took me seriously, what I thought, what I cared about. Curling up to mark on the couch, just together. Watching you fly or duel, when you were most free. The stolen moments, when there was nothing but us. How you grew into teaching. Nearly all of it. (I don't miss dinners with your family one bit.)

I understand you better now. Things I didn't, before. The black despair, how it's impossible to get out of bed, impossible to sleep, so hard to think or feel anything but wild fury. Dreaming you're there and then waking and losing you all over again. Hearing you call out 'Rory' and turning round, and you're never there.

There are days I stay in my tower for supper, because there's Lana. Who has husband and lover (you were right, your brother having someone), and all the things I don't and won't and can't have again and she doesn't seem to value any of it. Savitha, how her class - your class - has no Teddy Nott in it, and how that changes everything, and how she hasn't been broken and battered by her loyalty. Seeing everyone's lives go on, and all I can do is keep from drowning in it.

I worry that you hate me for what I chose. (Are you even there? Is Tosha right, and there's something beyond this world? I'm glad you're not a ghost, I don't think I could bear)

When they asked me, Remus and Poppy and Pomona, I needed to say yes. But I didn't know why. Then they told me about Harry and Draco and Hydra, and this has to be the right choice. The only possible one. (I keep reading your letter, over and over. What you wanted. You have so much to be proud of, with Harry, and we had no idea.)

They take care of each other. Not like the Council. Not like your family.

The oddest people have been so kind. Alice, so like I remembered from school, not the monster the papers turned her into. In some entirely different world, I think you and Frank would have been good friends, your skill and your fierceness to teach and protect, both. Muggles and Muggleborns, who have all the reasons to fear me or loathe me or both. But Regina likes that I've a scientific mind, and Cecilia's glad I was kind to her daughter, and I don't know how they do that. (And they're both so clever and capable, and I feel so selfish, all they've lost.)

I guess that's why I'm doing this. So that other women don't lose other husbands and other children. So that there's a better world for our students. (And all the students we didn't get to have.) So that there's somewhere that honours loyalty, not curses it to shattered bits.

And - well. I don't have much to lose now. If I get it wrong, maybe I get to see you again sooner than later.

I don't regret loving you. Not ever. I keep holding onto all the ways you loved me. Kept me as safe as you could. Thought about what that meant. Wand holster and training and brooms and plans and all.

I just wish we'd had more time.

Love you, more than stars.

I meant to write Friday. Or Saturday. Or before today. But - well. Taken me days to get my feet under me again.

Business first. Took all of Thursday and Friday, but Raz's the Defence classroom's all cleaned out, and the office, and Raz's and my rooms (and my things moved back to the seventh floor). Thank you again for loaning me Cedric's help - it was taking me forever to make the stupidest decisions.

I am planning to be back at Hogwarts starting Monday. There's the Guild end-of-season lectures here on Saturday, and I really ought to make an appearance, however brief. But I'm thinking - well. That it's better if I have time at school before there are students. To sort out how to deal with memories in private. Without making a fool of myself.

Second, Septima stopped by, while I was working in Raz's the Defence classroom, to see what I thought about the Head Boy and Girl choices. I didn't say much, but she's not happy. About that, and all the other changes, and well, everything. (I got rather an earful about how it's going to be so different with Horace gone, too.)

She offered something rather generous (to rearrange my schedule if I liked, and we both know how tedious that is for her), but I pointed out that if she did, I'd likely forget what I'm supposed to be teaching when, and that's no good for anyone. But then I said I'd appreciate picking up our old regular chats about arithmancy again (true enough, for my own reasons.)

That left the door for further conversations ajar, so if there's things you'd particularly like me to get her talking about, I'm willing to try. How are your other plans going? (And if there's something I could actually manage to be helpful with, you know you should ask.)

Also, so I can have things in place - you're going to be terribly busy, so should I sort out ways to distract myself on Fridays as well as the weekend? I am still entirely dreading Saturdays.

I've been reading back, and thinking about some things that you should probably know. I talked to Remus about some of them, before he swore me in.

First, I want to list out resources, for everyone, so they know, because there's some things that might be helpful. But every draft I make comes back to mentioning Tosha somewhere, and I've read enough to know just how difficult that's going to be for some people. And for me to talk about as fairly as I want.

Second, you should know that it's not me being modest, when I talk about not knowing what I can do.

Raz and I, the binding charms we chose, they're very hard on the surviving partner. We chose them for good reason, but that's not much help right now. I can lay out what it means, but mostly I need you to not expect me to be better than I am. More together than I am.

Third, there's some things you might want to know. Pandora's Box, that was Tosha and Barty and Raz, I'm near certain. And you should know, the rite I did the location for, the original sacrifice was supposed to be Seamus Finnigan, not his mother. (I had no idea it was her, or what they made him do until this past week.)

And there's a thing you should know. A number of the Council can't cast the Patronus properly. Reliably. Tosha couldn't until this past year. Raz had years of his life he couldn't. Not filled with happy memories, a lot of them. And there's ways that underlies everything they do. Everything they value.

To answer a number of questions I've gotten recently.

First, I've been asked what I think of our new Headmaster.

In the two years I've known him, I've come to greatly value both Headmaster Dolohov's breadth and depth of knowledge and willingness to share what he knows, and also his ability to admit what he does not yet know and learn more about it.

More than that, I deeply respect his approach to teaching, wanting each student to know themselves and what they're capable of. No small thing, that. I look forward to his plans for the school and I like the ones I've heard so far.

Second, I do intend to continue teaching, and cannot imagine being anywhere other than Hogwarts come September. Students, if you have questions about preparing for the coming year or astronomy, you are welcome to write.